Gosh Darn Kids

Children are children. They aren’t supposed to be perfectly refined little social participants. As sure as death and taxes they WILL embarrass you in public. That doesn’t mean, however, that you can’t restrain at least some of their public behavior.

Today, as time and again, I saw a little kid who I knew was trouble from the moment he entered the establishment. How could he be anything else? He had that little blond bowl cut and those sheepish parents that screamed “yuppies” louder than their choice of posh coffee shop for a family outing. He was like a Tasmanian Devil of incoherent mayhem. His parents didn’t even try to stop him, only to distract him away from his path of destruction. Like he was some sort of unstoppable god of war, only to be appeased with appropriate sacrifice. That toy firetruck he indiscriminately plowed across tabletops might as well have been a real one to them.

Come on now, this is a little child. Don’t be scared of him. Or, more appropriately, don’t be scared of being stern. All that “believe in peace” stuff is bull. The only way he’ll learn to behave in public is if he thinks mommy will kick his privileged little derriere if he doesn’t. It’s the controlled environment he needs to learn to not grow up to be a sociopath. Don’t deny him that.

The future of respectable behavior is in your hands.

Joël Valenzuela
Joël Valenzuela
Joël Valenzuela is the editor of The Desert Lynx. He is also the founder of the Rights Brigade, a mover for the Free State Project, and a martial art instructor.