Do We Really Want Gender Equality?

Photo credit: Darren Kirby

Photo credit: Darren Kirby

Gender equality, and how to implement it in modern society, has been on people’s minds for several decades. We’re supposed to want it. I know I do. I can’t wait for the day when all humans enjoy equal rights to live their peaceful lives as they see fit, and can partake in a society that will allow them to do so without harassment.

I’m ready for gender equality. But how about the rest of us? Is society ready for more than just the parroted old feminist notions of a bygone era? For truly equal genders?

If so, we need to start granting paternity leave to new fathers. We need to make sure men are equally represented as cosmetologists, paralegals, executive assistants, botanists, and early childhood educators. We need to ensure men are able to secure scholarships to go to college, and seriously address the male unemployment crisis.

We need to ensure equal legal protection for both men and women. We need to stop moving to the other side of the street when encountering a man walking at night. We need to be blind to gender in cases of sexual assault, domestic violence, and child custody. We need to address the human rights crisis of criminalizing males at hugely disproportionate rates. We need immediate action to stop the rape epidemic that affects men everywhere.

We need to end the war on men known as “rape culture,” which discriminates against an entire gender by treating them all as deviants and abusers. We need to ensure men are allowed to express their sexuality without judgment. We need a Penis Monologues. We need to remind overweight men that fat is beautiful, and end dating discrimination based on their weight. We need equal representation, and compensation, in prostitution, cheerleader teams, “breastaurants” like Hooters, and any profession that leverages sexual attractiveness as an integral part of the job.

Alternatively, instead of waging an all-consuming crusade to socially engineer away the different societal habits and placements into which men and women have naturally fallen, we can focus on equal rights. On ensuring that members of each gender are equally granted the freedom to peacefully live their lives as they desire. And then leave them be to carve their own destinies, no matter how similar or dissimilar they may be.

It’s time to decide if we as a society, as a culture, and as individuals, are truly ready for real gender equality. I know I am. Are you?

JVqrminiJoël Valenzuela is the editor of The Desert Lynx.

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“Rape Culture” is a Red Herring

rape culture

Does America have a rape culture problem? Are our young ladies at risk of harm because of prevailing cultural attitudes that disrespect their physical integrity? Or is so-called rape culture just a myth?

To tell you the truth, I don’t care. Fighting over cultural semantics is the last thing that’s going to keep women safe. Worse, it’s a huge distraction from focusing on what really matters: safety and self-defense.

Whatever the nuanced situation about rape culture may be, certain bare truths still hold: rape is illegal and absolutely condemned by society. Rapists don’t do their awful misdeeds because no one properly educated them to as to the finer points of respecting the fairer sex. They got the memo. They just don’t care. Rapists rape for two reasons: because they’re monsters, and because they can. There isn’t much we can do about the first reason. Let’s take away the second reason by equipping women to defend themselves against these villains.

That’s what I do for a living. I teach good people to break the bad people that would do them harm. Solid unarmed self-defense skills are a crucial last line of defense in personal safety. Carrying a firearm sure helps, too. Most important of all is situational awareness: stay in public lighted areas as often as possible, keep your eyes open to potential threats, be careful you don’t ingest any consciousness-altering drugs, and carry yourself with an overall air of calm, quiet confidence. That alone should be enough to avoid the vast majority of attackers. Those you can’t avoid are in for a nasty, painful surprise. [Read more…]

Adversarial Dating

karate couple

Love is a beautiful thing. Two people getting to know each other, celebrating their similarities, intrigued by their differences. Sharing special moments together. Maximizing their respective strengths while supporting each other through their respective failings. Becoming stronger together than they ever could be alone.

That’s the theory, anyways. All too often, a supposed partner ends up looking a lot more like a rival.

Think about the ways in which we’re conditioned to think adversarially about the opposite sex. Wear certain clothes. Look a certain way. Say all the right things. Seem interested, but not too interested. Call them. Don’t call them right away. The socially-established human mating dance is indeed a complex, trying game.

And it doesn’t get any better when a relationship begins. When she’s saying this she’s really thinking that. Be careful not to do this or he’ll take it that way. This is how to get her to give you what you want. Say that to manipulate him into doing things your way. There are literal volumes written on how to navigate a relationship with the opposite sex. And a lot of it is on how to get what you want from an otherwise unwilling partner, while at the same time avoiding being forced into reciprocation.

Call me a dreamer, but to my mind this is a colossally wrong-headed approach. Our worlds are filled with enemies and, God willing, friends as well. I believe we should devote as little attention to our enemies as we can get away with, and dedicate most of our effort to our friends and loved ones. Special friends are special, and should be treated with all the love, respect, and understanding that we can muster; not with suspicion, obfuscation, and manipulation. We seek true love, to find someone with whom we can share our hearts, our minds, our bodies, even our souls. That requires absolute honesty, sincerity, and devotion.

Romance gives us a chance at a truly remarkable connection with another human being, something we all long for. Instead, tragically, we often end up sleeping with the enemy. That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Home Depot Personals

Where have all the good men gone?

Gone with the wind. Or rather, gone with the winds of prosperity and feminism. It’s now okay to be a fancy pretty-boy, and you can go without getting a real job and not starve to death. The traditional man, with all his wood-chopping, teardrop-shirking, bacon-homebringing (still working on making that a proper English term) bravado, that man is gone. Gone for now, but rest assured, he will be back. How can I say this so certainly? Because I can think like an economist. There is a demand, and where there is a demand, a supply will follow soon afterwards. Additionally, foreign competition will force domestic products to improve.

How is the domestic supply of men lacking? For starters, the breaking down of the stereotypical hard-bodied, hard-hearted, strong, dependable man. Just as women are more accepted in roles more typically associated with men, guys can now get away with downright girly actions such as crying about their feelings and using as many beauty products as their female counterparts. Now, I can’t say the feminist challenging of traditional gender stereotypes is all bad without being a hypocrite. I enjoy my relatively long hair, fitted clothing, and daily lattes, thank you very much. But I can still take a 12-hour day of physical labor. I can take a punch to the face. Growing up I chopped the wood to heat my own bathwater.

The aforementioned masculine aesthetics, however, aren’t the real problem. The tragedy is that men aren’t reliable and self-sufficient anymore. This is because they don’t need to be. Women have done so well for themselves that they don’t need anyone to take care of them financially. Add this to an affluent century unlike any other (current economic woes aside), and you have very little incentive to actually become a productive member of society. Aging parents with plenty of money are much more tolerant of having their precious little boys come home. And, with enough equally maturity-challenged roommates to split the bills, a part-time job down at the obscure bookstore you’ve probably never heard of can go a long way.

Ladies, in this dismal market of irresponsible, underdeveloped girly man-boys, where can a real man be found? I’ll tell you where: in the Home Depot parking lot. There you’ll find plenty of real men. They’re adventurous and industrious. They’re not afraid of working with their hands, working long workdays, or slaving away all weekend, starting before dawn. They can survive on their own in difficult and foreign environments and still be able to send money home to their extended families. They don’t need to cry about how their mother never paid attention to them, because they’re too busy trying to be the man in the family since their father died of dehydration on his journey through the desert. They wear practical clothes. They don’t need no stinking exfoliant. And don’t forget that they won’t be so shy of commitment, especially since a marriage can solve their legal problems and pave a path to a better life.

Congratulations ladies, I just solved your man problems. You’re welcome. Gratitude can be expressed in the comment section. Have a nice day.