Do We Really Want Gender Equality?

Photo credit: Darren Kirby

Photo credit: Darren Kirby

Gender equality, and how to implement it in modern society, has been on people’s minds for several decades. We’re supposed to want it. I know I do. I can’t wait for the day when all humans enjoy equal rights to live their peaceful lives as they see fit, and can partake in a society that will allow them to do so without harassment.

I’m ready for gender equality. But how about the rest of us? Is society ready for more than just the parroted old feminist notions of a bygone era? For truly equal genders?

If so, we need to start granting paternity leave to new fathers. We need to make sure men are equally represented as cosmetologists, paralegals, executive assistants, botanists, and early childhood educators. We need to ensure men are able to secure scholarships to go to college, and seriously address the male unemployment crisis.

We need to ensure equal legal protection for both men and women. We need to stop moving to the other side of the street when encountering a man walking at night. We need to be blind to gender in cases of sexual assault, domestic violence, and child custody. We need to address the human rights crisis of criminalizing males at hugely disproportionate rates. We need immediate action to stop the rape epidemic that affects men everywhere.

We need to end the war on men known as “rape culture,” which discriminates against an entire gender by treating them all as deviants and abusers. We need to ensure men are allowed to express their sexuality without judgment. We need a Penis Monologues. We need to remind overweight men that fat is beautiful, and end dating discrimination based on their weight. We need equal representation, and compensation, in prostitution, cheerleader teams, “breastaurants” like Hooters, and any profession that leverages sexual attractiveness as an integral part of the job.

Alternatively, instead of waging an all-consuming crusade to socially engineer away the different societal habits and placements into which men and women have naturally fallen, we can focus on equal rights. On ensuring that members of each gender are equally granted the freedom to peacefully live their lives as they desire. And then leave them be to carve their own destinies, no matter how similar or dissimilar they may be.

It’s time to decide if we as a society, as a culture, and as individuals, are truly ready for real gender equality. I know I am. Are you?

JVqrminiJoël Valenzuela is the editor of The Desert Lynx.

Like this article? Show him some love and send him some Bitcoin!

“Rape Culture” is a Red Herring

rape culture

Does America have a rape culture problem? Are our young ladies at risk of harm because of prevailing cultural attitudes that disrespect their physical integrity? Or is so-called rape culture just a myth?

To tell you the truth, I don’t care. Fighting over cultural semantics is the last thing that’s going to keep women safe. Worse, it’s a huge distraction from focusing on what really matters: safety and self-defense.

Whatever the nuanced situation about rape culture may be, certain bare truths still hold: rape is illegal and absolutely condemned by society. Rapists don’t do their awful misdeeds because no one properly educated them to as to the finer points of respecting the fairer sex. They got the memo. They just don’t care. Rapists rape for two reasons: because they’re monsters, and because they can. There isn’t much we can do about the first reason. Let’s take away the second reason by equipping women to defend themselves against these villains.

That’s what I do for a living. I teach good people to break the bad people that would do them harm. Solid unarmed self-defense skills are a crucial last line of defense in personal safety. Carrying a firearm sure helps, too. Most important of all is situational awareness: stay in public lighted areas as often as possible, keep your eyes open to potential threats, be careful you don’t ingest any consciousness-altering drugs, and carry yourself with an overall air of calm, quiet confidence. That alone should be enough to avoid the vast majority of attackers. Those you can’t avoid are in for a nasty, painful surprise. [Read more…]

Adversarial Dating

karate couple

Love is a beautiful thing. Two people getting to know each other, celebrating their similarities, intrigued by their differences. Sharing special moments together. Maximizing their respective strengths while supporting each other through their respective failings. Becoming stronger together than they ever could be alone.

That’s the theory, anyways. All too often, a supposed partner ends up looking a lot more like a rival.

Think about the ways in which we’re conditioned to think adversarially about the opposite sex. Wear certain clothes. Look a certain way. Say all the right things. Seem interested, but not too interested. Call them. Don’t call them right away. The socially-established human mating dance is indeed a complex, trying game.

And it doesn’t get any better when a relationship begins. When she’s saying this she’s really thinking that. Be careful not to do this or he’ll take it that way. This is how to get her to give you what you want. Say that to manipulate him into doing things your way. There are literal volumes written on how to navigate a relationship with the opposite sex. And a lot of it is on how to get what you want from an otherwise unwilling partner, while at the same time avoiding being forced into reciprocation.

Call me a dreamer, but to my mind this is a colossally wrong-headed approach. Our worlds are filled with enemies and, God willing, friends as well. I believe we should devote as little attention to our enemies as we can get away with, and dedicate most of our effort to our friends and loved ones. Special friends are special, and should be treated with all the love, respect, and understanding that we can muster; not with suspicion, obfuscation, and manipulation. We seek true love, to find someone with whom we can share our hearts, our minds, our bodies, even our souls. That requires absolute honesty, sincerity, and devotion.

Romance gives us a chance at a truly remarkable connection with another human being, something we all long for. Instead, tragically, we often end up sleeping with the enemy. That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Frog Princesses

Those who remember my last post about the unfortunate decline of American manhood will probably think I have a one-sided point of view on gender relations. Fear not, I believe in gender equality. That means it’s the girls’ turn now.

The global war of romantic competitiveness is a cutthroat one, and it is becoming increasingly relevant to the average world citizen. It used to be that you had to fish in the small pond in which you were born. Not no more. In this most international of worlds, it’s effortless to communicate across many thousands of miles, with anyone, at any time. Interracial couples are gaining more mainstream acceptance. People are studying, traveling, and living abroad. Outsourcing doesn’t just affect work anymore, it affects love as well. And frankly, I feel like the good ol’ fashioned American girl is losing her edge. Now, let it stand as official record that I say this not out of spite, but out of concern. I’m rooting for complete and utter American dominance in every area imaginable, and so the sad state of femininity in this country truly breaks my heart.

Feminism is a beautiful thing, and the upending of gender inequality is nothing but good. I’m passionate about freedom, and the fact that both genders are now free to do whatever they want brings tears of joy to my eyes. But with great freedom comes great responsibility. Just because you’re free to paint your house cyan, lime green, and purple, doesn’t mean doing so won’t earn you serious bad mojo points in the afterlife. So, while women everywhere celebrated the freedom from slavery to desires of men, some of them took it upon themselves to separate themselves from that desire entirely, and from dignity itself. And, unfortunately, this reckless abandon of self-respect caught on. Ladies, if you have managed to avoid the following crimes against humanity, consider yourselves the best this country has to offer. As for the rest, well… brace yourselves.

Vestis virum reddit. How we humans clothe ourselves represents who we are, and how we perceive ourselves. It is based on this premise that I do declare the public wearing of pajamas as the absolute lower limit of self-respect. This includes carrying blankets, or hybrids (I’m looking at you, Snuggie), outside the house. I don’t buy the comfort or practicality arguments: There exists in this world sufficient clothing to suit any need. Get looser jeans. Wear a comfortable sweater. Ditch the heels in favor of flats or sneakers. But whatever you do, for the love of all that is holy and good in this world, do not leave the house in your bedclothes. It projects a lack of caring about one’s appearance that rivals that of the chronically homeless. Civilized humans cut their hair, trim their nails, take regular baths, defecate only in prescribed areas, and refrain from hurling the fruits of said defecation at their rivals and/or unlucky bystanders. And they leave their abodes properly clothed. The rest of the world has already grasped this concept. Certain Americans, in particular many young female Americans, would do well to follow suit, or risk losing out miserably to women from elsewhere in the world who embody femininity and class whenever seen in public.

Next up, the thrill of the chase. The traditional gender relations setup defined the man as the hunter, and the woman, the prey. Now that the system has been turned on its head, the system has changed, and women need to take a more proactive approach to securing a romantic partner. The antiquated do-nothing approach may be stubbornly clinging to life (much like the fax machine), but, faced with foreign competition, it’s time this method joined the top hat in the dustbin of history. Throwing the entire responsibility of initiating relations at the feet of men is a huge burden, and any woman willing to lessen this burden is immediately welcomed as a breath of fresh air. A foreign woman willing to express interest, and communicate what she wants, will act as an impenetrable barrier preventing guys from even noticing the local girl waiting for Prince Charming to come take her lazy tush off to paradise. Japanese women, in particular, have completely obsoleted the American woman in the dating marketplace. It’s time to pick up the slack and evolve.

Finally, speech. There is nothing wrong with the American accent. There is, however, a disturbing style that is trending in modern female English: vocal fry. Originally a symptom of a speech disorder, this guttural croaking is apparently now in vogue among American girls. Let us now hold a moment of silence in light of this great tragedy. Soft, high-pitched vocals are traditionally associated with femininity, and continue to be perceived as attractive by males. Such a deep, coarse groan goes opposite to feminine beauty, and is unique to females. That means that now the voice of young American girls falls even lower on the estrogen scale than a male voice. As a decent human being who values beauty and decency, it rends my heart asunder to hear a young woman sounding like a lifetime chain-smoker or a coal miner.

America is about innovation. It’s about exceptionalism. It’s about conquering all obstacles through the power of freedom and adaptability. That’s why I urge the evolution of the modern American girl in order to be able to compete on a global scale. Picture the contest for a man’s heart as a ring fight. In the red corner, a nondescript foreign woman. Her attire, classy and alluring. Her voice, smooth and pleasing. Her approach, direct, engaging, and personable. In the blue corner, a young girl from the U.S. of A. She wears the same sky-blue Hello Kitty pajamas she slept in, with the virulent addition of Crocs. She sounds like a princess recently transformed from a toad, still having difficulties readjusting to human speech. She has no approach at all, choosing instead to remain in one place, awaiting what fate may come. The fight is over before it even begins. And I die a little inside.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you for listening.