The Altar of Love

Don’t you just hate that happy couple? They’re always together. They always send each other lovey little notes and texts. And they’re always kissing. Always. They don’t seem to notice that you’re standing right there. No shame, none at all.

Ever get jealous? Wish they’d stop rubbing in your face just how lucky they got, while you’re stuck with an unsatisfying relationship, or none at all? Let me tell you, luck has so little to do with it.

It’s easy to miss all the hard work and sacrifice that goes into having a so-called perfect relationship. Quite simply put, it’s a challenge, one that most of us just aren’t cut out for. There’s a lot of effort that goes into constantly thinking about each other, reminding each other of that fact throughout the day, and finding ways of helping, supporting, or otherwise finding nice things to do for each other.

But the real hard part is self-denial. Human beings are different, and when they get too close they come into conflict. A successful intimate relationship requires a good deal of selflessness to be able to operate at such a close emotional distance. Literally every decision and action you make has to take the other person into account. That kind of exhausting, comprehensive, never-ending commitment is very difficult. It’s not for everyone.

So don’t feel jealous. You probably don’t want that kind of life. If decide that you do indeed want that for yourself, go for it. And good luck. You’re going to need it, for the path you have chosen is a hard one indeed.

Joël Valenzuela
Joël Valenzuela
Joël Valenzuela is the editor of The Desert Lynx. He is also the founder of the Rights Brigade, a mover for the Free State Project, and a martial art instructor.
  • Awesome point. Not a lot of people acknowledge this side of it.

    • I think it really needed to be made, because the “love lite” practitioners can be jealous or feel sorry for themselves. The truth is that love hurts, and you should respect those who choose to inflict that upon themselves. Alternatively, you should not be jealous of all they have to go through, or even be proud of being “smart” and not going that way. Both generic categories of relationship approaches have merits.